"I am loved and comforted daily beyond measure"

I grew up in a broken family. My parents divorced when I was 7. My dad’s addiction to alcohol left me fatherless and I grew up only with a mother. From early childhood I was taught various prayers by my mom and we went to a Catholic church occasionally. Every night before falling asleep I would repeat the same Lord’s Prayer and Hail Mary just the way I did yesterday and the day before yesterday. I did not understand lots of things about God and about life, but somehow I never doubted that He exists.

Later I started attending a United Methodist Church. As a teenager, I was eager to find out more about God and all the things related to Him. I was carefully listening to sermons on Sunday mornings, asking my pastor all kinds of questions in a youth group, and trying to reconcile God’s goodness that I heard about with a miserable life I felt like I was living. Nothing made sense, but I held on to Him in the worst moments and cried out asking ‘why?’

I remember my last youth camp in the summer of 2008. I was 15. One evening we all sat down on the floor in a small room lightened by some candles and after a prayer each of us had to write down three things. I cannot remember the first two, but the third one had to be something we want to offer to God as a sacrifice. At that moment I realized that I am so empty and I do not have anything for Him to offer… So with tears in my eyes I wrote: “I want to give you my heart”. I believe that was when I made my first step towards Him. Things in my life did not get any better, I would say, they got even worse. However, He was pursuing me in ways I did not recognize.

The biggest turning-point in my life happened when I entered LCC International University. I say turning-point as if there was one big moment of change, but actually it was a gradual transformation. I chose to study Theology and through these studies I kept looking for answers, which I did not receive in the church. My personal life was still a disaster— broken relationship with family and friends, financial difficulties, health problems. During first few years at LCC I had lost all people I valued the most: I broke up with a boyfriend, the connection with old friends was lost, I received no support from relatives. Moreover, conflicts with Mom became unbearable and I did not even want to go home on weekends; while my father ended up living on the street. What did I feel again? Emptiness. I had nothing. Fortunately, I started seeing that God replaces those lost things with something good—new friends, new positive experiences, a new attitude towards life. God made a miracle and saved my father from the misery He was stuck in for more than 20 years. That was enough for me to make a conscious decision to give all my life to Christ and in July 2014 I was baptized.

I cannot say that the life was “fixed” overnight, but overtime I experienced cardinal changes, which only worked for a better. I was and am constantly reminded that I am abundantly blessed: I receive a lot and I rejoice when I can give; I am rich in my Lord Jesus Christ; I am loved and comforted daily beyond measure. Thus,

“… I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ.” (Philippians 3:8)

The best advice I can give you: when things get so hard that you can no longer bear them on your shoulders and emptiness prevails, try Jesus. You and I may fail, but He never does. It is not a way to escape suffering—it is the way to find true joy in the midst of suffering.