"I was amazed that they still can come to God"

I always thought that there is God, but I didn’t know how to approach Him. I remember I would be praying at night that He would give me a 10 from the exam and that was it. I believed that good people believe in God and they go to church, but I didn’t really care about it. It was also boring to go to the church on Easter or when somebody dies, because I would not understand what they would be talking there.My brother started going to ‘Discovery camp‘ where one of the churches in Vilnius was collaborating with American church and so in this camp you had to talk in English. The funny thing was that my brother actually related the camp’s title with the TV show. He thought that it will be related with science, but eventually it was about Jesus. At some point he started to think about it and he became a Christian.

He was going every summer for a week to the camp to participate as a leader. The first time, when he was a leader, he invited me to come to the camp, but I was refusing because I was very shy to talk in English and at that time I was 12, but I was convinced to go. I remember the love of the people in this camp, joy that they were pouring out to us. I was touched by the testimonies that youth leaders from America shared about drugs, alcohol, and things that they went through. After hearing their stories, I was amazed that they still can come to God. Then, I thought, He really loves and accepts them. One day the pastor was preaching and asked a volunteer to be wrapped in a plastic wrap and this illustration showed that it is our sin and how we live in it. After that we were also asked to come upfront and receive Jesus in our lives. I was afraid of other people and whether it will change something in my life, but I went and that was a turning point for me.

I came back home and the routine started again: school, friends, dance classes and I stopped reading the New Testament because I didn’t understand it. At some point I was feeling guilty because I didn’t live for God, didn’t give everything to Him, so I felt that things aren’t going so well in my faith.

Next time I came back to the camp and everything was again – like in Heaven. One girl initiated a conversation with me and started telling that you should sacrifice things in your life. She mentioned that she sacrificed professional biking for God and it made me think again. Later, after the sermon, I came to her and I said that I was not trying to love people and Him, wasn’t living for God, wasn’t trying to give my whole self to Him. That year at the camp was a confirmed: yes, I really want to seek Him. So from then on I still have ups and downs, but now I live in Christ.