"God doesn't look for a reason to love and bless us"
When I was ready to go to LCC International University, I was praying because this place was expensive for me and I did not know what to do. My parents also encouraged me to go there and trust God. He provided money to pay for LCC even though I was thinking to take academic leave. But even then, I received donation that paid the part that I was not able to pay.
I wanted to go abroad and earn money for myself but I did not have enough money to pay for the program. I did not want to borrow money from my family, friends or bank as well. When I was in my junior year, I got to know from my professor that LCC gives loans to students. So I was planning to get a bank account, take a risk, because it was for free. However, the whole process with official papers was so difficult: I received a lot of e-mails, had problems and I asked: “God is it really that you want? Why is it so hard?” I realized that devil was doing all these complications in order not to trust God.
I was going to the USA with my other two friends and we were looking for a job that would fit for all of us. Fortunatelly, we found a job that we could even live together for free. my friends are unbelievers and they received it as a luck, but I though that certaintly it is not. It is really God and He provided it.
Also, there were some problems with visa. Because it was my last semester at LCC, it was possbile that the USA Embassy will not open a visa for me. I had to go to Vilnius and I got a message that there is a mistake in my passport – it did not match the contract that I had. The main problem was that I already bought flight tickets and I could not delay it. In order to reprint visa it takes few days but I had just only one day left. I ran to the Embassy and this woman gave my new passport with the visa. So this was reinforcement for me that actually everything God was working.
For a long time (and even sometimes nowadays) I have this idea that I have to earn God's blessing and grace. That if I want to succeed in this or that, I have to behave good, become more holy, and so on. And if I failed to be a "good" daughter to God, then I don’t deserve His blessings. But what I realized is that I don’t have to earn God's love, He loves me the way I am. I remember dreaming about going to New York, but I wasn't really paying attention to it. I mean, I neither asked God to fulfill it, nor were doing myself something for the dream to come true. When I got to NY, I realized that even though I didn’t do anything to deserve the chance of fulfilling my dream, God did it for me! And what God does, especially when we don’t deserve it, I gain a desire to do something for Him. We don’t win God's love by doing good deeds or praying and reading the Bible a lot. All that is crucial for a Christian, but that's not how we earn God's love and blessing. This is because we don't have to earn it, it's already given to us unconditionally. God wants to bless us just because we are His kids and that's all (just as any good parent would do good to his/her children for no reason). God doesn’t look for a reason to love and bless us, being His kids is already a sufficient reason.
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