"..at some point you just have to make a choice"

I grew up in a family that saw God through a culturally Catholic mindset, but that had no actual relationship with God. We went to church once or twice per year, but we didn’t know Him in a deeply personal or loving way. My family lacked vulnerability, and the ability to openly express love and warmth. I can count on my fingers the number of times my parents told me that they love me. I grew up assuming this was normal, but through examples of other families, I began to realize how wrong my concept of relationships was.

When I was 14, I went to an international basketball camp in Poland. I didn’t know it was a Christian camp until I arrived, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to play basketball. During the camp, I liked hanging out with the Christian volunteers, so I began to open my mind to what they said about God. Summer after summer, I went to the same camp, but then I would return to the same negative atmosphere afterwards and forget the joy I had felt. Switching from such a positive environment to such a negative one started to reveal to me the wrong choices I was making just to fit in with what other people were doing back home. Although I recognized the difference and had a new idea about the kind of life I wanted, I didn’t know what to do about it.

During the fourth summer of basketball camp, a leader came up to me and asked: “Do you want to stay at the next camp for free?” I eagerly accepted, and during that time I learned a lot from the examples of the counselors. I saw them effortlessly living each day with a deep sense of positivity, hope, and love, and it inspired me. But even after that, I came back to Lithuania and to the same routine. I was dating a girl at the time who I had good moments with and learned a lot from, but we were always fighting. I wanted a better relationship, but I was held back by the hope that things would change and get better.

By the sixth summer of camp, I believed in God. It felt right in my heart, and it was a decision that filled me with joy and hope for the future. However, I went back to Lithuania, surrounded by people that did not share my beliefs, and stuck in an environment that didn’t allow me to grow. Because of this, I tried to find things on my own. I watched many YouTube videos – everything from atheist debates to Christian scientists’ sermons, determined to find the Truth that I longed for.

My seventh year at the camp brought a new change for me: I led quiet times for the Lithuanian group, which meant I would share my faith with them, and I also got baptized. I discovered that when I lived according to Jesus’ words, I was joyful. I didn’t miss out on anything when I followed His teachings, such as: loving my family as well as my enemies, respecting others, living for a purpose, and serving the way that He served. In fact, I gained more than I could have imagined: true freedom. I didn’t live in shame, guilt, anger, or addiction anymore when I try to live like Him.

By a lot of miracles, when I went back to Lithuania, my future wife Amanda was in the same university class as me. I didn’t think about her as more than a friend, but through her influence, I saw that there were godly women who had similar interests as me. Because she was a study abroad student from America, I knew she would leave, but I enjoyed watching her approach to life. Meanwhile, in my relationship, I was choosing to let my fears of change and of being alone drive me more than my hope in God’s plan for my future. Looking back, I can see that I was fighting to hold on to something that God was asking me to let go of.

Eventually, there was a moment when I knew my girlfriend and I had to go separate ways, even though it was very hard. The choice to make a change always requires a sacrifice. One of the things I was most afraid of was being alone. However, I knew that my girlfriend was in first place, and not God. I didn’t have many friends at this point in my life, especially not ones that approached life the way I did. The only thing I had was now God. But I think that was the step God has been waiting for. From that moment, my life changed for the better. It taught me one of the most important things I’ve learned: God loves you and He wants to give you the life that you’re capable of. However, you have to give him everything you have first, and put Him before all else.

One of the biggest transformations of my life came soon after that, when I got the opportunity to volunteer at the Youth With a Mission (YWAM) organization in Hawaii. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I could go! I was actually very worried about it because I didn’t know if I would be able to find the finances in time, and I would be giving up my entire summer to volunteer without any pay. However, I knew this was a place I could truly learn about God and I had a lot of questions and doubts that I wanted to have answered. God did a miracle by providing all the money that I needed to have in two weeks, and so I decided to go.

I understood while I was in Hawaii how stuck I had been. Something is always holding us back – fears, addictions, unhealthy relationships, etc. But, at some point you have to make a choice. You have to step outside your comfort zone, and make a change. It is scary. But it is also necessary in order to step into the fullness of life, and to find true purpose. I have regretted pursuing my own wants before, but I have never been disappointed by the way God has shaped my life when I’ve given it to Him. Following God’s ways has directed me to my purpose path and to the most amazing relationship with my soon-to-be wife – one that I never knew would be possible. God has transformed my life dramatically, and all it took was one choice: saying yes to an adventure with God and holding on to His promises.